Funniest Pick-Up Lines

Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
You are so sweet...I'm getting a toothache just looking at you...
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
Great choice of clothes, they match the trim in the Jag
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
You must be going to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
You must've just had Campbell's soup… cause you're lookin' mmm… mmm… good!

If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.
I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
*looks and pats around her back* Hey, I thought angels had wings?
I would buy you a drink but I'd just be jealous of the glass.
I'm not going to ask for your phone number cause I know you'd say 'no' so can I have your e-mail address?
I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
Guy: Can i see your hand? (he draws a little river then a bunny on one side and says he can't get to the other side because he will go glub glub glub.) Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Sorry, you must've misunderstood me. I said: "you look fat in those pants!"
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
Your eyes have touched my soul

Don't you know me from somewhere?
Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you.
If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.
Who's your daddy?
What's the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
I have only three months to live.
What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
I'm not Fred Flinestone but I can definitely make your bed rock!
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
Does my breath smell okay?
Hello, my name is Elmo and baby you can tickle me anytime you want!
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.

Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
Excuse me, I wrote this poem for you… Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm not a poet, but damn girl, you're HOT!
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? (As you look around you ask "where") Over there! (Ask again: "What did I drop?") He answers back: My jaw!
I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away!
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday… I just wanted to know your parents created such a beautiful angel?
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
Excuse me miss, I don't mean to stare, but um I think you're really Beautiful"
You've been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Guy: What's your name? Girl: Danielle Guy: Oh... I thought it was Aphrodite.
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity.
Can I read your t-shirt in brail?
When's our wedding date?

Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
Hey Baby, did you fart… cause you blow me away!
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I'll stop loving you.
It must be dark outside. 'Cause all the sunshine in the world is right here.
Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours?
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
I think my medication is wearing off.
Are your parents retards… cause you special!
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
(Close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this).
You're hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power!
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk? My zipper.
I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!
Hi, my name's Right...Mr. Right.
Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
Hey, come here often? You could, with me.
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone we did anyways!
Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
Are you a computer whiz… it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware.
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
You Say: Looks like we're late." She Says: "For what?" You Say: "For dinner. Your choice this time, I'm buying."
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
Got me? I'll do your body good.
What would you do if I kissed you right now?
Man: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?
I never thought that heaven would be so close to me"
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Smile if you want me!.
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
What's your sign?
You look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
Hey, haven't I seen you before? I remember, it was in my dreams!
There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.
It must be a day off in heaven for an angel like you to be amongst us.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
If I could be anything I'd be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.
Do you like chocolate… well, just call me Mr. Goodbar!
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl/guy I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.
Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love.
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
Coffee? Tea? Me?
If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
Good news, the test results are negative!
A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.
Oooh, you're lookin' fine. Not in the good way, in the "you'll do" way.
No, but how about a kiss anyway?
Pull my finger.
Guy: Did I see u somewhere? Girl: No Guy: Then I must of seen you in my dreams! (works everytime)
I've heard sex is a killer… want to die happy?
Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent.
Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."]
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
I wanna get all hot and sweaty and listen to you breathe hard… um, you wanna go running?
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Please don't go or else I will have to make a report to the cops....u stole my heart
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
You remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You're cool cause you're hot!
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it's just a sparkle.
The only thing your eyes haven't told me about you is your name.
It's always good for you to see me again.
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book ... So what's one more??
Champaign can be tickly, and so can I.
Your daddy must be a terrorist, because baby- you da bomb!
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Ouch! Damn… do you have a band-aid? I cut my knee when I fell for you.
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
I've been noticing you not noticing me.
Can I have a picture… I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
Woman, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave....
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.
What sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?
Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
All this could be yours for one low, low price!
When God made you, he was showing off.
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you my dear have left one great leap on mine!
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?
When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world
Let's make like a fabric softner and snuggle!
You look just like my mother.
If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? He: Twice.
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off!
Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.
I've heard milk does a body good but DAMN how much did you drink?!
You look like a big glass of water and I sure am thirsty!
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality.
Are you parents bakers… cause you got some hot buns!
You are a beautiful girl, you have probably heard all the great pick up lines, so why dont' you just tell me the ones that worked so we can get past all that....?"
[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?", say "Checking to see if you were made in heaven."
I envy your lipstick.
Grab them in the butt and ask, "Pardon me, is this seat taken?"
Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you're desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, "how about you call me tomorrow and we'll figure out a way to spend this money?"
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
If water were beauty you'd be the ocean.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
(While looking at stars) Baby, I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.
I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
You MUST have a nice personality.
I've seen till I gazed into your eyes
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
Your parents must be terrorists… cause you da BOMB!
That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish?
Hi, I work at Subways but I only can give you a footlong.
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
You are not a woman, you are an essence
Really like your peaches and I wanna shake your tree.
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?]
Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Hi. Are you cute?
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
Man:"Girl, you are so rude!" Girl:"How am I being rude?" Man:"Because you're looking so fine and not telling me you're name."
I think I must be dying because I'm looking at Heaven.
Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."
May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?"
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl/guy with the beautiful smile.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Hey, do you like McDonalds… well, just call me "Big Mac."